So what's the deal with Voice Mail ? Well, I'll tell you for a fact that it is the most annoying part of the cell phone. When you call someone you expect to talk with them, not communicate with their machine. But if you are not a very popular person, like yours truly, there are good chances that you might end up listening to your friend's excuse and the Voice Mail lady's harangue. Here is what Voice Mail should not be,
"Hey, You have reached Cameron Diaz at 310-987-XXXX*. I am either busy or on another line and am unable to take your call right now, so please leave your name, number and message and I shall get back to you as soon as possible."
Firstly, Thank you very much for telling me you are busy, I was assuming that you were
still learning how to use the cell-phone and hence could not receive my call. Secondly, I am
grateful that you informed me that I am supposed to leave my name, number and message, I was unaware of this protocol. I was about to consult my cell phone manual to figure out what to do next. And thanks for consoling me with the fact that you shall call back as soon as possible, I thought you were going to call me only when you were on your deathbed discussing my share of will with your lawyer.
"Hey, You have reached Jerry Seinfeld at 917-856-xxxx*. I am unable to take your call right now, but if you could leave your name, number and message, I shall get back to you soon. Thanks you for calling."
Oh! I never knew your number was 917-856-xxxx. I just let my pet chimp punch vigorously on my cell phone. Thanks for informing your number. And by the way, your message is as bad as Cameron. And what do you mean Thank you for calling....I want my money back for my role in your series.
But it's not just these annoying messages that you have to deal with. You also have to listen to the Verizon Lady (Sprint, Cingular Damsel....whatever...) after these personal messages.
"Please record your message after the beep. When your finished recording, please hang up
or dial 1 for more options. To page this person press 5."
Thanks for informing me that the message has to be recorded after the beep, I was
thinking of staying on hold till someone screamed, "Record Now". Oh! I didn't know I was
supposed to hang up after leaving the message. I was thinking of gluing the cell phone to my ear and wait for further instructions. I have left him a message, I have no need to page this person u bit$%. And next time don't be so predictable..say something new.
This is how I think the message should be,
"Hey, This is Arun. Please leave a message."
Infact I am contemplating on dropping the words Hey & Please too. Ideally, this message should not be followed by the Verizon lady giving some elementary instructions.
I have a similar gripe with the method of retrieving a Voice Mail as well. But I shall save it for another post.
* On Cameron's & Jerry's request I have hid the last 4 digits of their number.
ps: Shane Warne's best 8 deliveries in Test cricket.
10 comments:
I guess this is an interfacing problem: people have increasingly gotten used to the store and forward mode of communication thanks to email that the good old interactive communication model with the telephone was meant for is being lost in the process. I do not leave/respondto voice mail messages as a matter of principle --> if I wanted to leave you an offline I have better media for doing it would rather than not waste my precious energy speaking to a dumb voice recorder (especially since I have nothing worthwhile to say to the person I called anyway!). I guess you can extend your cribs to answering machines too --> they serve no practical purpose (there is probably a small conceptual difference in terms of where in the network the message is being stored :-) ). See I managed to leave you a long message that is absolutely content-free -- now why on earth would I even imagine leaving such a thing on voice mail :-) or why would you want to waste ur time hearing this long rant wasting your precious airtime?
:-)). I agree. I need shorter Voice Mail messages! Short, really short.
"Hey, This is Arun. Please leave a message."
Hi, this is Casablanca. Just called to say that voicemails are trivial matters. Not to get so emotional over them ;)
You dont need to call back.
*click*
@Nice Try...Thanks for spamming...but I believe u can leave the same message on voice mail too...
@Harshi....I think there should be no message....just a beep...and then u start recording...
@Casa..You don't need to call back ...what do u expect me to do..you didnt leave ur number back....although I did rifle thru 500 pages of HK telephone directory...but they wouldn't list any info under the name Casablanca...will wait for their updated version
agree with casa.
aatre told me once that his friend had a gruff "Kaun hain be?"
You can have a carrie type.
Hey, you know what to do
i can't believe i remember that stupid b!tch's message too :(
very funny and so true.
This post is Seinfieldesque on so many levels.
@Totti...Ask Susu for some paiful Stanford junta Voice mails..
@M...Thanks
@Anarkist...I shall take that as a compliment..Sienfeld had a great piece about Cell Phones during his Penn state show...but he had nothing abt voice mails !!
"Hey, This is Arun. Please leave a message."
Oh thanks for letting me know your name is Arun. I had no clue whom i had dialed for :)
@Lovely little heart
There are times when ppl dial number, not names (business wise). A name is necessar then ...
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