The Aging Friends

Do you remember the first friend you ever made ? Most people made their first friends at the kindergarten. It didnt matter whether it was a girl or a boy, they were your friends so long as neither of you bullied each other, or had a common favourite toy. More often than not, your friends were actually your parents friends kids. Although in most situations such friendship was imposed upon you, it worked well.

Assuming you joined a primary school in the same neighbourhood as your kindergarten, a lot of friends stayed on from kindergarten. You made some new ones, while you lost some old ones. Your memory hadn't developed enough for you to grieve the friends that you lost. You started becoming aware of differences between a girl and a boy, but that never filtered into your friendships. But things were simple. There were no dirty secrets, no backbiting. You moved to the Secondary school within the same school. Your friend circle didn't change much. There were some who moved to other places, while others who joined your group. By now you had reached an age when you realise exactly what you like and what you dislike. You build a strong inner circle of your friends and hope things stay the same forever.

But the only thing constant in this world in change. So you move to college, in most cases in a different school, in a different neighbourhood. If you are lucky, some of your old buddies join you in this phase, but in most cases you started making new pals. You lose touch with most of your good old friends, but their absence is being filled fast by the new ones you make at college. Geographical separation and the new found fun group contribute to erasing ties with some good old pals. You accept the inevitable and move on with new beaming faces around you. You are mature and independent enough to do all the things you ever wanted to do. And you realise that this enjoyable phase of life is brought to you by this new set of accomplices and confidants. You dread that you might lose them, but find yourself helpless.

Lets say you moved to a new country, which wipes out most of your old friend circle. You now desperately start seeking a group, cause you realise that all the fun you had in yesteryears were due to the presence of good friends. You might fail initially, but eventually you succeed. By now you are in search of people whose wavelength matches yours, and you do find many. After a few nostalgic weeks/months you are back to what you have been doing best - start partying !! Things probably change when you enter the corporate side, they become a bit formal, nevertheless you start creating the old times through the new groups.

As you move on, at every stage, you make some good friends, but you also lose a lot of good old friends. But how long does this go on. Over the weekend, I had a discussion with a friend who claimed that age had a great bearing on this activity. His arguement was that as you grow older, you start becoming picky and your circle starts shrinking to a few chosen ones. He further claimed that things will change drastically after marriage. Friendship will take a beating to kinship, and the growth as well as attrition rate will move towards stagnation.

Is age really such a big factor ?