SeinLanguage

(I recently finished reading this book 'SeinLanguage' which has all the famous standups of Seinfeld. I am a big fan of Jerry. I attended his stand up at Penn State University. I also have a CD of his famous stand up at the Broadhurst theatre. Here are 2 really nice stand up pieces from the book. If you are familiar with his style of delivery, then I encourage you to read the following pieces as if he would have delivered it....its much more fun)

I once had a leather jacket that got ruined in the rain. Now why does moisture ruin leather ? Aren't cows outside a lot of the time ? When its raining, do cows go up to the farmhouse,
"Let us in! We're all wearing leather! Open the door! We're going to ruin the whole outfit here!"

Many states in the country have traffic schools to get a ticket taken off your license. I went to traffic school, I didn't mind it. I felt bad for the traffic school instructor. This guy goes to traffic school every day no matter how he drives. What is his incentive not to speed ? He is going to traffic school anyway. Why not get a race car, do two hundred miles an hour down a street ? Cops stop you,
"Where are you going?"
"Traffic school"
"All right, go ahead. And you better hurry, you really need it"
Maybe the punishment should be instead of traffic school or traffic court, just traffic. They assign like 5 people to drive around you at 5 miles an hour wherever you go. You're on your way to Vegas, there isn't a car in sight,
"Come on, move it!